A couple weeks ago BFF and his partner came over to discuss the contract. Megan and I were so anxious and prepared for the worst but hoped for the best.
We made pulled pork, southwest salad and potato wedges. (Still working on the food in moderation thing, I think it will be a life long challenge.)
The conversation started awkwardly. I mean how else do you start a conversation with your best friend about making a baby?
He’s on board! He wants to be our donor and is excited and honored to do so. There are just a couple of things he wanted changed in the contract to align with what is in all of our hearts.
First, he asked that any of the “non family” language get removed from the contract. He assured us that any child(ren) born for his donations would be legally ours and he agreed the language of us being the primary parents ought to be in there. As well as the language that he has, by his donation and agreement to this contract, relinquished all paternity rights. He just feels as though he will be family with any child(ren) who are born. An uncle of sorts. Someone more than “mom’s best friend.” We are so totally down with that. In fact it is closer to what we imagined when we thought of asking him to be our donor, so out with the “non family” language.
Second, he asked that we are honest with any future children about how they came to be and that our agreement to this honesty also be included in the contract. Our only stipulation with this is that we want to ensure any future child(ren) are emotionally and cognitively prepared for the story of their conception and birth. He agreed. So in when the language of honesty when the future kiddos are ready. Which in all honesty, was our intention anyway. Its why, even when we were purchasing sperm (save for the first 2 tries), we chose an ID option donor.
Beyond that, he seems excited. He wants to be involved as much as is appropriate while still acknowledging my wife and I as primary parents. We also discussed our willingness to allow his parents to be involved in any future child(ren)’s lives. We were all in agreement though, that we need not tell a lot of people about this so as to help keep it all private and more easily protect future child(ren.)
So the contract was updated and will be signed. BFF wants to get some tests done to make sure he is in good health and then we are moving forward. Hopefully in November.
I have already purchased some pre-seed lube…