Radio silence means…

Babies are here!

Megan’s water broke early in the morning 8-19-21. She had gotten up to pee and was about to get back into bed when it gushed out. After quickly assessing the situation I started to make phone calls to the L&D floor and the clinic. Everyone told us to come in.

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On the ride in Megan started having small but noticeable contractions. Nothing measurable, and at first she called them cramps. When we arrived at the hospital and were checked in, they needed to first check to see if it was a small break in the water or a large one. If it was a small one, she could stay pregnant under observation in the hospital, a large break it was baby day. Turns out it was a large break and it was baby day!

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We needed to wait for a while for other surgeries to be completed before we could go in so we killed time in a triage room. When it was time for Megan to go back for her epidural, I got dolled up in this lovely get up and waited to be escorted to the operating room.

When I arrived Megan was already on the table. Surrounded by lots of busy health care professionals ready to go. It was as if the were waiting, scalpel in hand, for me to arrive and then it was go time. Barely two minutes after I stepped foot in the room, this guy was on the other side of the tarp.

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And one minute after him. She came bursting into the world. I say bursting intentionally. Her water broke so hard it sprayed the doctors in the face shield. We now have a theory that it was his water that broke and started it all.

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They were whisked away to the NICU soon after birth. They were both struggling to breathe and needed a little support. I initially went with them to NICU, but returned to Megan after a while. We went back to see them together as soon as Megan was recovered from surgery.

More on our NICU stay and beyond later. Just wanted to announce that they are here.

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Luella Winifred, 4lbs 14oz

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Simon Edward, 5 lbs 8 oz

35 weeks

Not much to say… still prepared and waiting.

34 weeks

This is such a milestone! If babes make their apperance now, they will likely be just fine.

Lil man playing with his mouth and sucking on his fingers

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I put the car seats in the car today. We have one last shower this weekend with work folks. Then were smooth sailing until C-day.

Our regular OB is on FMLA until the week of our c section. This adds a bit of suspence, but we’re not gonna worry about this too much. Everyone at the clinic we’re at is skilled, it would just be very nice to be with the doctor who has followed us on this journey long before we were even pregnant. But you can control everything.

On that note… many of our family members have chosen NOW as the time to go on major trips. In airplains. To major cities. In covid hot spots. Insert eye roll. We cannot control this, but what we CAN control is requiring those same traveling family members to get tested prior to expecting to meet the babes. And to quarantine. That’s just gonna be the way it is. Vaccinated, tested, masked and quarantined is a requirement to snuggle these sweet loves. I hate that it needs to be this way. So avoidable. Thank goodness everyone of age is vaccinated in our family. Only one person under 12 remains un vaccinated. Come on science, give us the green light for younger kids to be vaccinated! Please?

Megan was vaccinated while pregnant, so babes will (hopefully) carry some antibodies after birth.

All this resurgence stuff has me a lil worried and protective. I’m ready to hibernate with my new lil family away from all the dangers the world has to offer.

33 wks

We’re still pregnant! Much to our dismay folks have started placing bets as to whether or not we’ll make it to our C day. We’re doing everything in our power to get there. We know the longer they’re inside the healthier they’ll be, so placing bets on early babies is not a fun game for us. As it is, they’ll be 3 weeks early on C day.

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We’re are making sure we have everything we need. The other day I looked in their drawers and noticed a plethora of new born onsies, but a significant lack of newborn pants. Then we figured the changing pad sitting on our registry was not a fun gift for anyone to give, so we opted to just get that ourselves. Little things like this here and there pop up and we add them to our list to ensure we are as prepared as we can be for their arrival.

We’re waiting on car seat protectors to install the car seats in the car. I am most anxious for this as i know the car seats are essential for getting them home. It just doesn’t make sense to install them twice to me though, so I’ll wait, however impatiently, for them.

32 weeks!

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We had our first BPP ultrasound this week and will have one a week until delivery. BPP is a “biophysical profile.” It’s just a screening to monitor babes in the final states of pregnancy to make sure they’re doing alright. Both babes scored 8/8 and aside from one of them having a weird cord insertion site (the umbilical chord connection to the placenta is not as centered as they’d like, but this is the first we’ve heard this) all is well. I feel bad I don’t know who’s umbilical chord site is weird, baby boy or lil girl, but I suppose this is the start of the angst in raising twins. They seem active,chonky and healthy, that’s all I care about.

It’s getting to be that there isn’t much of her maternity clothes that fit Megan. Hence the same outfit for weeks in a row. With the heat along with poor air quality from wildfire smoke blowing over to MN Megan is basically on house arrest. Or air conditioning arrest.

Our hospital bags are packed. I’m working on filling our freezer with comfort meals for post partum. I’ve got the sort of high energy which makes me feel a bit manic. Perhaps this is the nesting phenomenon, but it’s been going on for about 3 months now. Nothing to be concerned about, and I mean no offence to those with true mania. Not trying to be insensitive.

This weekend my sister is treating me to a massage and mimosas. A massage sounds just lovely. And time with my sister is always a blessing.

The nursery

Ideally I’d wait until I finished my artwork to do a virtual tour of the nursery, but in the interest of time incomplete will need to suffice. Its mostly set up, so here it is

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Above is a broader view of what you’ve been seeing in the background in my semi weekly pregnancy progression photos. Below is the rocking chair nook. The dresser will double as our changing table. The spaces beside the fox and bee painting will be where my artwork eventually goes.

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Inside the dresser, I’ve washed, folded, and organized all the babies’ clothes. Newborn in the top drawers. 0-3 months in the middle left, 3-6 months in the middle right drawers.

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The closets sit accross from the cribs. The one on the left is filled with things the babes will grow into, or we don’t need out quite yet. Like highchairs, teething rings, car seat covers for winter etc. The right one has an abundance of afghans, swaddles, and clothes that are 6-18 months. Amongst other things we’ll likely use soon. My sister gave me the framed artwork in the middle of the two closets. Found at an antique shop in Minneapolis. “Summertime” circa 1917. Us lesbian mummies have been around a long time.

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Close ups of the fox paintings. Foxes have been a spirit guide for us during this whole pregnancy. Starting with soon after transfer, back in January, I was driving down the road and I saw not one, but two fox in the snow on the boulevard in our neighborhood. This was before we knew both embryos stuck. Then this summer on a morning walk with the dogs (before it got heatwave hot) I came accross a fox sunbathing on the bluff by the river. The icing on the cake was the family of fox, with two kits living on the bluff by the beach. We could see them daily for about two weeks. Then beach traffic sent them packing to a different home. Megan has continued to see them in the neighborhood though, so they’re still around. So foxes are these lil beans’ animal tótem I believe. And thus the fox artwork in the nursery.

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And that’s the nursery! There’s a lot of cute books on the shelf we got from our baby shower last weekend. But this post is long enough. Maybe next time.

31 WEEKS

6 weeks to go! Megan I getting more and more uncomfortable and tired, but is being an absolute star about growing these babies. They are passing their ten kicks per hour quota. Though it is challenging to determine which kick comes from whom.

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We got the artwork in the nursery up this week. It is so flippin cute. I’ll do a nursery tour post soon, once I start and complete the original Mummy artwork I plan to add to it.

Anxiety is high as we get closer and closet to d ( or should I say “c” for c-section) day. The trauma of infertility sometimes has us foreboding joy and thinking of all that could go wrong…still. Leaning into the fact that we’re about to have two babies in our arms seems risky after all we’ve been through to get here, still that’s what we’re trying to do.

They are active. I swear he’s responded to music. She hates when Mama lays on her side… they are already so a part of us.

Induced lactation

I started my journey towards the goal of induced lactation in April. I went to an IBCLC and discussed my options. I LOVED her. Just something about her energy drew me in. Truly there’s a whole other blog post about that, so I’ll save my raving for there.

My IBCLC informed me that she’d only done induced lactation a couple of times on patients herself, but assured me it was possible and pointed me in the direction of some great pod casts and books. “Breastfeeding without birthing” by Alyssa Schnell was the book and I believe the pod cast is hers too. That’s called “Breastfeeding outside the box”

I started birth control mid April with my (then) next menses. I took only the hormone pills daily for 4 months, to trick my body into thinking I had a “mini pregnancy.” I had some minor spotting each month when I would normally bleed (at the end of each hormone round when the sugar pills began), but nothing I would call a true period. It was old blood, those who know, will know what I’m talking about.

I stopped the birth control about two weeks ago. My IBCLC said I would bleed, but I didn’t. That makes me worried, but my IBCLC didn’t seem phased by it. After stopping birth control, the consultant recommended I start some supplements to encourage milk production.

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I take the goat’s rue 4 times a day and the milkapalooza 3 times a day. They are over the counter and can be found online easily. I was taking the fenugreek once a day, but it made my blood sugar tank and in order for it to be effective I’d need to take much more so we opted to not continue this supplement. The capsules are pretty easy to manage, though yesterday, I belched and one decided to make a re-appearance in my throat without the casing…. that was NOT pleasant. Just a bunch of herbal powder and grass flavor, ew. A little water and I was okay again.

After stopping birth control I also needed to start stimulating my breasts. Aka pumping. I pump for 10 min every 2 hrs and once at night. This tricks my body into thinking there’s someone to feed after that little faked mini pregnancy and hopefully she’ll produce milk!

I haven’t produced anything yet, but I’m hopeful. It takes a couple of weeks to really get going so fingers crossed something happens soon. It’s also possible my milk won’t come in until I hold my babes. The hormone shift there could make it happen if I haven’t produced milk yet by then.

What I do know is my boobs have grown about a half cup size. They feel fuller, after the fake pregnancy and even more now after a week and a half of pumping. When I miss a pump, bc life, they ache even though pumping sessions aren’t productive. All this points to something is working.

I really hope this is successful. Both because it’d be awesome to be able to provide supplemental feedings to my babes to give Megan a break and for bonding. Also to provide a place for my body to be useful as a non gestational parent. I still harbor some feelings about not carrying and I think surrendering my body in this way could alleviate those feelings some.

I will keep you posted, but now it’s probably time for me to go pump.

30 weeks!

We had an OB appointment and an ultrasound sound last Wednesday and Thursday. Our ultrasound left us both so smitten with these little souls.

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30 weeks and 7 more to go. I find myself making lists in my head of all the things that need to be accomplished before they arrive. I know the home (and us) will need far more rhythm and flow than its natural aloof state it has been in. I am working on my routines to create that natural flow. So it doesn’t feel sterile and over structured, but tidy and maintained. Finding a place for everything and ensuring everything is in its place gives me a sort of peace and comfort.

The sonographer sent us adorable clips of the babies’ activity during the ultrasound. One of her just squirming around, another of him sticking his tongue out during what I believe to be a yawn. I’ve watched them about 4,782 times. And counting.

We’re going on a date tonight. Hopefully not the last before we need to worry about childcare, but quite possibly could be. It will also be my first movie in theaters for over a year!

Officially in the third trimester

We are here! It feels like such a milestone and somewhat unreal. To be here, in this place, with my wife’s belly swollen and round like the moon, is such an indescribable experience. Megan is EXHAUSTED! “Everything hurts!” is a phrase I hear often. Every week I feel like she is more and more pregnant. But you decide for yourself.

26 weeks

27 weeks

28 weeks

29 weeks

This Wednesday (tomorrow) will be 30 weeks! Megan is feeling both of them regularly. I have felt both of them now, and it’s just MAGICAL! What’s more magical is that some of the kicks are now visible outside of the womb. I am sure it isn’t magical to Megan, but seeing them, adding another sense to perceive their reality through is just So COOL!

We have an ultrasound on Thursday this week. I cannot wait to see them. Megan and I are placing bets on their weights again, last time I guessed Girl’s weight exactly. This week I am betting Girl is 3.2 lbs and Boy is 3.1 lbs. There it’s in writing now.

Megan’s boss FINALLY approved light duty for her. Apparently all it took was a direct threat to “beat your pregnant ass” from a psychotic patient and a GODSEND of a co-worker to advocate for her safety. We are both so relieved. I really think this change will ensure that we make it to 37 weeks! (If I haven’t mentioned it, we have a scheduled c-section for the day after 37 weeks. We’re telling the kids “you stay there, we’ll come get you.”)